Choosing formalwear! THE HORROR

[notallofus]

Go to a club opening, the mission brief said.

Pass codes over and receive a beacon location for the goods they have to transport, the mission brief said.

Buy formalwear for the first time in your life, the brief did not say, but that's Kanan's current assignment, regardless.

He has found dark-colored pants, at least, but are they sophisticated pants? Are they the kind of pants a rich, suave guy would wear to a club opening intended for high rollers and the idle rich?

They're certainly sparkly, when he tilts them in the light, so maybe so. But then, if he chooses these pants, what sort of shirt is he going to need, and will his boots be all right, or is there some kind of shoe he needs to use, too.

And what about make-up?

Which is why instead of choosing several items and making his way to the front of the shop to pay for them, Kanan is standing, stunned and overwhelmed, in the pants aisle. One of several pants aisles, actually.

This is hell.

Comments

[notallofus]

Considering their introduction to each other on the mining system of Gorse, there's only one thing he can say here.

"And here I thought you had a long career as a lady of mystery."

His shoulders have relaxed a little, though, and he sways a bit to nudge her shoulder with his own. He'll move farther afield in a moment to search for a useful shirt -- or a set of them, because he's going to want her to weigh in.

Maybe this dark gray shirt with a faintly red pattern woven into it, or this other paler gray shirt maybe with a vest . . .

"Where'd you pick up the knack for what might look good, then?"

[for_everyone]

"I don't think about it as 'what might look good,'" Hera says, as they reach a more appropriate aisle, some shirts hanging in wood display cases, others on mannequins of various species. She does take a step away from him, glancing along the fabrics and colors.

"I think about it as, 'what will others expect from me.'"

[notallofus]

He tries not to wince and mostly succeeds.

"Right. Right. So . . . what story are we telling at this party, is that . . .would that be a more helpful way to think?"

Kanan is definitely listening to her response as he dives into the display, peering first at a tightly-knitted shirt with silk inserts that's currently gracing the body of a Duros mannequin, then at something covered in very fine embroidery on one made to look like a Muun.

Then he seems to take discretion as the better part of valor and starts looking at things in the wooden display cases. If only they grouped them by color . . .

[for_everyone]

"You could try it."

She's not sure she can tell him what would be more helpful to him. "Sometimes it's easier to pretend to be someone else."

Hera's pretty sure he has some experience with that.

[notallofus]

"A lot of the time, really," Kanan mutters, but he doesn't sound displeased about it.

"I guess if I'm squiring around someone that would wear that dress . . . "

He dives into the display and pulls out two different shirts, one a high-collared jacket-and-shirt combination with the shirt in brilliant red to match the stripes of the pants he already chose, and the jacket a deep velvety black edged in that same crimson. The other is a softer, shimmery gray that looks red-tinged if you tilt the shirt in several ways. It will look even more shimmery and red on a person's body.

Probably. Kanan guesses.

"One of these? Depending on . . . the statement we're aiming for. Um. They're aiming for?"

[for_everyone]

Hera glances among them. "Well..."

She touches the high-collared jacket. "I don't think you live in a castle on your own barren moon."

Which is how she imagines anyone who'd wear that.

[notallofus]

"Someone's got to, though, right?" Kanan asks, smirking more than a bit. But he puts it back, because she's definitely not wrong. Maybe if they were holo stars . . .

"Is the gray one too shimmery, maybe? Or too casual for this kind of party?"

[for_everyone]

Hera shrugs. "I think the other might go better with the pants you picked out."

The black and gray do clash a little, even with the shimmery red.

[notallofus]

If only he really had a moon . . .

"Maybe they've got the gray one in black?"

He dives back into the selection again, an ex-Jedi full of purpose.

[for_everyone]

"Or maybe there's one with a lower collar..."

Really, if it weren't for that collar...

[notallofus]

" . . . maybe the shirt and jacket are detachable?"

He'll try that first.

Then, items with lower collars.





Okay, not that low, no V has to go that deep. He refuses.

[for_everyone]

Hera raises her eyebrows.

But she conceded, "Even my neckline's not that low."

There are definitely limits to Hera's rule of 'what they expect' of her.

[notallofus]

"Yeah," Kanan agrees, shaking his head and putting the deep-V shirt back. But with the idea Hera's given him, he goes looking for another jacket-and-shirt combination, finally finding one with a normal sort of collar, though the shirt underneath is white instead of red.

"Should I try for a mix-and-match?"

He could probably make it work.

[for_everyone]

Hera nods, reaching out to feel the fabric of the new combination.

"I like it. And the red's a loud color - too much of it can be noticeable, too."

[notallofus]

Kanan smiles wryly.

"That's true. Guess I'll just have to make sure not to spill anything on myself until we need a quick escape."

What?

He's met himself before!

[for_everyone]

"Maybe stick with something white," Hera suggests.

"No Toniray or Theenwine."

[notallofus]

"But what if I just spill it on other people?"

He's kidding.

Mostly.

[for_everyone]

"White can work just as well for that," she points out.

She then looks up, turning slightly as she glances around the store, until she finds the sign near the ceiling that she's looking for -

"Do you want to try that on?"

[notallofus]

"Uh. I probably should, huh? Because if it doesn't fit . . . "

Back to the drawing board.

(He really hopes it all fits.)

"I'll be, uh. Right back, I guess?"

[for_everyone]

"You don't want me to, um -




"- come see how it looks, when you've got it on?" she recovers.

[notallofus]

"Oh, uh. Yeah."

Is that relief in his tone as he half-turns to look back at her.

"That would be great. I, uh. Don't want to have to walk through half the store if it's not, uh. Good."

[for_everyone]

"No problem, love."

She glances around, and then spots pair of swinging wooden doors near the back, a silver-plated protocol droid standing by it. "Looks like it's over there."

[notallofus]

"Right," Kanan says, and then, a little more briskly, "right."

He moves in that direction, striding determinedly with his armful of clothes up until he hits the protocol droid. Then, well --

"Uh."

The droid's head has been turning to follow Kanan's progress this whole time. And now that he's there, it speaks. "Hello, sir. If you'll go right inside, changing room number three is open."

"Thanks," Kanan says gruffly, moving through the indicated curtain and looking for a door with the number three on it. He finds a curtain, instead, which isn't his favorite, but, oh well. It'll do. He moves the curtain aside, closing it behind him and starting to set his clothing on a nearby shelf when two sets of droid pincers take each item of clothing from him and whisk it away.

"Wha -- "

He turns, suddenly free hand dropping to his hip to grab his blaster, when --

Well, the droid that took his clothes is a small, shiny copper unit that looks like a cross between an astromech and a pit droid, only with two sets of pincers and one set of humanoid hands attached to long, snakelike appendages.

"If sir will permit me to assist, we'll have you dressed and back out in a jiffy!" The voice definitely has a Core accent mangled by a high-pitched electronic buzz and some faltering circuitry that makes the delivery jerky in comparison to the protocol droid outside.

[for_everyone]

"I'll just -"

Hera takes one step back from the curtain, and then another.

"I'll just - wait out here -"

Apparently she did not deal with a changing-room-droid herself.

[notallofus]

"You do that," Kanan says, attempting to seem less dumbfounded and uncomfortable than he actually is. "But if you hear me hit the floor, please come and rescue me."

"Oh, sir!" says the hybrid droid, trundling closer on its wheeled chassis, "I'm here to help you into and out of your pants so you do not overbalance, or trip, or fall. We prevent all harm to our customers here at the Emporium."

As the droid speaks, it begins plucking at the hem of his shirt with one set of pincer claws, using its hands to try to chivvy Kanan's arms above his head so that extracting him from his garment will be easier.

"Uh. I really can do this by myself," Kanan interjects, taking a step back and bumping into the wall.

"As sir wishes," says the droid, looking downcast. "We simply aim for total customer satisfaction."

"Maybe if you hold out the stuff as I need it?" he offers in return, because . . . well, it's not like that will kill him, right?

"Of course, sir!" says the droid, perking back up again. And away they go.