Kanan Jarrus (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
notallofus) wrote2020-09-27 01:39 pm
notallofus) wrote2020-09-27 01:39 pm
Entry tags:
The gift of purpose
“She will make it,” the med-droid says, and Kanan can feel that relief all the way from his scalp to his toes.
Hera will live. She'll be fine. She'll wake up and go back to flying, planning missions, making everyone around her better.
It will be okay.
But first – first, there's a mission to finish.
And Sabine's vengeance plans to . . . gently redirect. He can see that a lot of people are up in arms, and there's a part of him that understands the need to make someone pay for Hera's hurt, for their two lost pilots, but . . . that's never really been him.
It's not just because he's a Jedi, because there were always plenty of whispered tales of Jedi who went dark, who fell, and while as a kid that gave him a glorious kind of shiver . . . as an adult, he can understand it. But Kanan . . .that's not the path for him. He can't muster up that feeling. What he wants, more than anything in the galaxy right now, is to deliver Hera the result she went out looking for, the thing that left her unconscious and badly wounded in the med-bay. That's what will – not make things right, nothing can do that, really – but . . . make it worth it. (Nothing can be worth it, either, but for Hera it is, and that's what he's choosing to focus on right now.)
Convincing Sabine is going to be a nightmare, he can just tell.
***
All right, maybe at this point there's a little desire for vengeance flavoring his actions. There's something satisfying about Fenn Rau's sheer surprise and panic as Kanan leaps on top of his fighter and rides it up into the sky.
Even more when he manages not to fall off, and instead rips his lightsaber through the control panel, destroying any hope of flying his way out of this the Protector of Concord Dawn has.
And sure, he's also doing this because an imprisoned Fenn Rau won't be able to report their presence to the Empire. His subordinates won't want to do it either, because no one wants an actual Imperial presence in their system, or at least no one that values independence (and the Mandalorians definitely do). It will give Concord Dawn a vested interest in not having word of the rebel presence get out, and that's a net benefit all the way around.
It makes perfect sense as part of the Rebellion's strategy.
But it's also just viscerally satisfying to push himself to his limits in pursuit of the person that hurt Hera, and to succeed in capturing him.
Kanan's perfectly okay living with that.
Hera will live. She'll be fine. She'll wake up and go back to flying, planning missions, making everyone around her better.
It will be okay.
But first – first, there's a mission to finish.
And Sabine's vengeance plans to . . . gently redirect. He can see that a lot of people are up in arms, and there's a part of him that understands the need to make someone pay for Hera's hurt, for their two lost pilots, but . . . that's never really been him.
It's not just because he's a Jedi, because there were always plenty of whispered tales of Jedi who went dark, who fell, and while as a kid that gave him a glorious kind of shiver . . . as an adult, he can understand it. But Kanan . . .that's not the path for him. He can't muster up that feeling. What he wants, more than anything in the galaxy right now, is to deliver Hera the result she went out looking for, the thing that left her unconscious and badly wounded in the med-bay. That's what will – not make things right, nothing can do that, really – but . . . make it worth it. (Nothing can be worth it, either, but for Hera it is, and that's what he's choosing to focus on right now.)
Convincing Sabine is going to be a nightmare, he can just tell.
***
All right, maybe at this point there's a little desire for vengeance flavoring his actions. There's something satisfying about Fenn Rau's sheer surprise and panic as Kanan leaps on top of his fighter and rides it up into the sky.
Even more when he manages not to fall off, and instead rips his lightsaber through the control panel, destroying any hope of flying his way out of this the Protector of Concord Dawn has.
And sure, he's also doing this because an imprisoned Fenn Rau won't be able to report their presence to the Empire. His subordinates won't want to do it either, because no one wants an actual Imperial presence in their system, or at least no one that values independence (and the Mandalorians definitely do). It will give Concord Dawn a vested interest in not having word of the rebel presence get out, and that's a net benefit all the way around.
It makes perfect sense as part of the Rebellion's strategy.
But it's also just viscerally satisfying to push himself to his limits in pursuit of the person that hurt Hera, and to succeed in capturing him.
Kanan's perfectly okay living with that.