Kanan Jarrus (
notallofus) wrote2018-07-12 10:03 pm
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After the hallway fight, like right after
It helps, a little, that, as they turn off the main corridor of the command ship, the door opens up into somewhere that's not full of military types.
But it's still a problem.
Kanan can feel his neck muscles tightening, his stomach clenching down with the weight of bad memories. He hates being at odds with Hera, hates it utterly, but --
But this --
He can't be okay with this. He wouldn't know how, even if he wanted to try. (And he doesn't want to try at all.)
Maybe Hera can tell, because she doesn't make a move to stop him, keeping pace with him as he strides through the cantina part, and out the back door.
Kanan only starts slowing down when they reach the far edge of the lake, taking a deep breath and turning around. Finally.
He still hasn't figured out what he wants to say.
But it's still a problem.
Kanan can feel his neck muscles tightening, his stomach clenching down with the weight of bad memories. He hates being at odds with Hera, hates it utterly, but --
But this --
He can't be okay with this. He wouldn't know how, even if he wanted to try. (And he doesn't want to try at all.)
Maybe Hera can tell, because she doesn't make a move to stop him, keeping pace with him as he strides through the cantina part, and out the back door.
Kanan only starts slowing down when they reach the far edge of the lake, taking a deep breath and turning around. Finally.
He still hasn't figured out what he wants to say.
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His breath is coming quickly now, skin prickling to life, and it adds restlessness to the movement of his hand across her back, the sweep of his thumb across her cheekbone.
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But then, finally, she has to break off. She doesn't pull away, but turns her head down, still resting her face against his, still keeping her eyes closed, and breathing deeply.
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Because --
He doesn't want to let go of her, and he wants to know if they're okay, and he wants --
He turns his head a little, enough so that he can press his lips against her forehead, and keeps on breathing. Just for a minute.
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But then, though she keeps her arms around his shoulders, her weight rested against him, Hera's eyes do flutter open. She shifts her head just slightly, so that she can look up to him.
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Waiting.
Wondering if they're about to step back from this, or --
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But she murmurs, "We were - on Phoenix Home -"
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"We should probably get back," he agrees. "But this -- "
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"We'll get back to this, love."
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"We'd better."
There's relief in his words, and he still can't help smiling, just for one second more.
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She also takes her time about relaxing her hold on his shoulders, and moving her hands back down.
But even once she's released him, she does take one of his hands in hers.
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It's different now. Just a little.
Just enough.
He'll only move to let go once they reach the front door, and the Phoenix Home beyond.