Kanan Jarrus (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
notallofus) wrote2018-01-19 08:51 pm
notallofus) wrote2018-01-19 08:51 pm
Entry tags:
Post-Rise of the Old Masters
It's the unexpected resurgence of old loss that stings, and he can't seem to shake it. Even knowing about the existence of the Inquisitor, and that he's not going to stop coming for them -- for Ezra -- lacks some immediacy in the upwelling of a fresh feeling of being alone in the galaxy.
He'd thought for a minute that someone else was out there, someone experienced, a leader who could --
Admit it, Jarrus. You wanted someone who could take over for you, so you could go back to being a padawan, or maybe not even that.
It's going to stick with him, that frustration with both the situation and himself, and in order to try to do something productive with it, he goes to find Hera.
(He always goes to find Hera.)
"Did we get a signal out yet?"
He'd thought for a minute that someone else was out there, someone experienced, a leader who could --
Admit it, Jarrus. You wanted someone who could take over for you, so you could go back to being a padawan, or maybe not even that.
It's going to stick with him, that frustration with both the situation and himself, and in order to try to do something productive with it, he goes to find Hera.
(He always goes to find Hera.)
"Did we get a signal out yet?"
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"And what about you?"
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"I train, because I can't afford to be rusty anymore. Not with the lightsaber, not with the Force. There's no room for that."
Lifting Ezra back up into the ship shouldn't have taken nearly as much out of him as it did.
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There's a pause, but then she tries a hesitant smile.
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And it helps. A little.
"At least it's the start of a plan."
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She waits another second, then takes a step toward him. "Knowing what you're going to do next."
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"You've got a concrete idea?"
He's going to be ecstatic if she says 'yes'.
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She folds her arms again, and shrugs. "And it's not the worst one."
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He doesn't laugh, but a little of the tension leaks out of him. It kind of had to.
"I think that's the gist of my idea, too."
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And maybe she could leave it there. But her eyes fall, and her smile fades. She watches the floor for a long moment, as she thinks back. Back to Ryloth, to fire crackling behind low voices, to the clink and bustle of cantinas. To every story she'd heard, and the ones she'd never pursued.
"Kanan, I -"
She closes her eyes again, but then lets out a breath, and shakes off her hesitancy. "My father knew a name. For the one that came to Ryloth."
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Well, that's . . . is it good? Is it bad? He doesn't know.
"And he told you?"
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"It can't be a real name. But I've heard it since then. Not the same way, not with what my father saw. But - like a storm. It just wipes out everything in its path, like there's no fighting it. I never even tried to follow up on it, I knew... "
Hera trails off. Because maybe she knew then that this was some part of the Empire she couldn't hope to fight. But she can't think that now.
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He swallows, straightening up and reaching out to center himself in the Force, because he's pretty sure he's about to need it.
"I don't think we're going to be able to avoid whoever it is now. Not if they come after us in earnest."
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And she knows it's silly, to still hesitate. It's not as though saying the name could matter, could somehow bring this specter down upon them. But every voice she'd ever heard of this had been hushed, and she can't quite shake the sense that she should do the same.
So again, she steps closer to him. She presses her lips together, and then looks up, meeting his eyes. And then she leans up to him, and whispers it.
One word. That's it. She moves back again, turning away, looking once more to the transmitter.
"I should -"
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Well. Now he knows one name. A dark name.
Maybe they'll get lucky and never meet the man that accompanied the Emperor on Ryloth.
"Yeah. I should . . . find Ezra. We've got to get to work."
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Hera moves away, toward the transmitter.
But she glances back, once, as she does.
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Because it's better than looking as terrified and out of his depth as he feels.
"Good luck."
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